I may not be Helen of Troy but
I am the best you'll get and I'll say that in
Print; so settle down sailor, make peace with your
Probabilities, and quit regarding me as the
Albatross. I've got culture to
Influence and life to narrate before I
Vacate to the (mis)fortune of resurrection.
So, strip off that calfskin and validate
Me with that crowing cock I'll soon cuckold
For I ain't no Helen of Troy and
Odysseus you are not.